Pardon my French. However...

I fucking hate Sundays.

They're so boring, and useless! What a stupid day. And the TV is almost just as bad.

I've been stuck watching Scrapheap Challange, and Four In A Bed all day...It's all making me want to sleep...even though I had 13 hours in bed :/.

Jesus I sound Lazy.

This would be the perfect day for some Roller Coaster Tycoon. Like I mentioned in my previous blog.


Basically,

My sister was kind enough to remind me of the times me and her used to play it when we were kids, the clasic one, not this smooth graphics stuff, proper pixel stuff.

She also reminded me of how evil I used to be.

For example. Here is the list of things I used to do...with the guests.

- If there was an unhappy guest, I would pick them up, and drown them. And watch them drowning. And, if i was in a desert area, I would go out my my way to pay for a block of water to be made, and that was used as my drowning pond....I seriously thought this would give my park a higher rating... :/

- There was a rollercoaster called the 'Shuttle Loop' which basically was a high speed loop the loop that went round the loop and up to a height, then came backwards into the coaster station. I could alter the speed of this coaster to 80mph. So that when the coaster carridge was full, the coaster would leave the station at 80mph, and go so fast that it would literally soar off the track, through the air, and crash land somewhere. I used to make it crash into a highly tree filled area outside the parks perimiter, so that even if the guests escaped the explosion, they would die on impact to the trees. This was simply just highly amusing.

- There was one particular day where I had two parks on the go at the same time, a massive one with lakes in and whatever, and the other was really small, and there wasn't many people in either park. So I thought, to boost numbers, I'd employ some entertainers. Of course these entertainers were either dressed as Elephants, Tigers, or Pandas. And of course, I discided to put the Pandas in the tiny park....1300 of them. Yes, 1300 Pandas, shaking their money makers for the guests. While this worked for the summer months, when December came, there was not a single guest, just 1300 dancing Pandas...and I couldn't fire any of them. This was rather halarious. Then in the big park, there was pleanty of people, but I was greedy and wanted more, so I employed 1300 Pandas, 1300 Elephants, AND 1300 Tigers, who all shook their money makers, all over the park. 1300 seemed to be the limit, but it was just halarious watching these random things jigging around in a seriously pixelly manner.

This is why I seriously would LOVE to be playing the 1st Roller Coaster tycoon RIGHT NOW.

Now I sound like a murderous freak that would seriously sort out the recession with my employment regieme... I am ace :D

I'll leave you to ponder at this now :)

Byeee :D

When I do photoshoots....my fridge does weird things.

You're now wondering what it is my fridge has done...

It sang at me.

It actually, no lie, sang at me.

It made this weird squeeky tune! Like it was so odd, I thought my phone was ringing. What a bizzare fridge.

I'm still sat here wondering what actually happened LOL!

Speaking of fridge, my house if now full of food. Horray! I will now continue to type while eating through a packet of biscuits...


Bourbon Creams if you must know!

NOTE TO SELF: STOP EATING THEM NOW. PUT THEM AWAY!


I put that up so as when I proof read this I know when to stop. How handy :)

Anyway! Photoshooooooot!

It was a success! Didn't get stabbed (surprise surprise!) or even see anyone...Was a little odd really but still, me and Rowan had the peace and quiet to get the shoot done, and leave before all the kiddies came out of school to have strange unprotected sex down in that park.

Which brings me onto my next point.

Why the utter hell were two bath tubs lying in the middle of a country lane?

Like seriously, me and Rowan walked down the wee walkway lane like thing, and we spied these two bath tubs! There was this sudden sexual feeling in the air, the sort of shameful 'I was drunk and had my first shag down here in that bath tub so as my mum didn't know...I was 14' (And no, that isn't what happened with me you dirty minded people!!) sort of feeling...me and Rowan soon left that area. It was just creepy!


And partically cause we are both as gay as it gets and nothing would ever happen!

You dirty people.


However we did manage to find a stone that looked like a really tiny penis with massive balls :D.

I photographed it :)


But can't upload it cause my internet isn't strong enough...

It can download Adobe reader and drives for my scanner but can't upload images.

Strange thing. Anyway.

Rowan has also been awesome enough to get me a family portrait booking! Sooo happy :D. 

I don't even know where the family live :D

This should be interesting LOL!


I've just looked at my bag of biscuits...

It appears that I have eaten them all.


Shit.



Why am I such a fat kid? Honestly if you put me in Burger King and had everything pre-made to how I like it, I swear I'd eat it all.

Such a fat kid.


I want Roller Coaster Tycoon.

I'm going to explain why in another blog in just a minuite.

Anyway.


For the time being I'm going to go now, before my toothache kicks in and I die of agony :D.

Bye Bye!

Thursday Photoshoot. And ASDA.

None of my settings have appeared. What the fuck? Just the word 'Link' with an underline. This now looks a little dodgey. I should refresh the page really. But can't be arsed really.

Anyway :)

I have one of my Urban/Natural shoots happening on Thursday with the lovely Rowan :). What a gem. Such short notice too! Can't wait.

I'm taking him to a place near where I live called 'Rough Park'...yes, it sounds dodgey as hell, aaaand it's in one of the dodgiest areas in Shropshire (I shall asume) but it is seriously beautiful. Just a shame it's surrounded by filth and chavs and kids who have kids and drugs and gangs and guns and fighting dogs. Totally safe.

Totally...Safe....

It helps that I'm from Northern Ireland really doesn't it LOL? The accent should be enough I'm sure :D.

But back to describing the set.

Basically. It's just a forest like walk, but with massive oven space, and some really old, fallen trees which will be where most of the photographs will be shot. As we don't have much time...I have ASDA coming LOL.

Speaking of ASDA...I am a fucking legend.

Pardon my language, but I really am.

I have managed to get one months worth of shopping...for £44! I know, you're going to think 'I spend that in a week! How the hell do you do that?'

Simple.

Starve.

:)

It's all I can do really, untill I actually start making money, and am able to get off the fucking dole. I hate the dole. I really do.

But still, survival is the key, and that's what I shall do!

Although next month I'm sure it's going to be a tough choice.

Do I eat, or pay the gas bill?

I know alot of people are facing that choice this year cause these big energy companies are charging a bloody fortune and filling their pockets.  They should give it to us less fortunate, who are trying their damn hardest to survive on nothing and trying really hard to get into work that, well, simply doesn't exist to anyone who has no expierence, or been on the dole for over 6 months.

¬¬. Typically, I am both of those things.

6000 jobs applied for, all of which I know I can do, and getting turned down consistantly. Self employed doing something I LOVE and something I know needs to happen here in my area is what's going to help me. And that is what I will do. But enough about that!

The shoot with Steven will have to wait. And I'm STILL looking for female models. Clearly they're harder to find than an employer who's willing to employ me ¬¬. 

I know I haven't blogged in DAYS but I've been busy!....Well, kind of. Digitally painting busy and having my partner over and helping her move into her new bedroom in her house :D. Furniture lifting is seriously interesting. Esp when you're asthmatic, have had to RUN LIKE FUCK to make it to a meeting on time cause the bust WOULDN'T TURN UP on either side of the meeting..like on the way there, and on the way back and I had to make sure I was in the bus station to make it for the bus that only comes ONCE AN HOUR! I would have been sooo annoyed if I was late for that. Luckily, the bus I needed was late, so after dying a little, I managed to get it, with some form of breathing going on...maybe not the healthiest breathing but I wasn't dead at least!

So I will end my rant there, and likely blog when ASDA comes, or after the shoot on Thursday!

Cheerieo everyone :)

Ps. My settings are still not showing. What the actual fuck?

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Waow. I'm actually warm. YAY!

I actually got heating...on Tuesday!

SO SO SO WARM, it's lovely :).

I've even been able to put a load of washing on, and be able to dry it! Amazing.

Nikki's here :), and I love having her here :). But she's at work right now :/. Which sucks...but I got to play Zelda all day.


Speaking of Zelda..


SKYWARD SWORD CAME OUT TODAY <3


I had it pre-ordered... HMV even rang me to tell me my box, with Wii Plus remote & CD was in store....I squeeled down the phone at the poor girl...I pity her, but she laughed so it's okay :)


Wished the Xbox was working though.  I'd be playing Gears of War 2 right now if it was. & I would have bought Gears of War 3, and Skyrim.. Skyrim looks freaking amazing.


I'd bum that game. I really would. Looks sooo good...Dragons, and everything. Oblivion was simply superb, so Skyrim could only be better..


I didn't think it could get better n_n..

I'm offering a FREE photoshoot untill December now, hopefully this will boost the numbers :)

Oooh I've been digitally painting too, and even if I do say so myself, I'm rather happy with them :). Katy Perry, Hayley Williams and Adele so far :). Lady Gaga and beyonce are next...not together, although that would be awesome..maybe I should do that? Hmmm.


ANYWAY


I'm going to go away now, for once I'm running out of things to say :)


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Byeee :)

I live in hope.. If only hope would actually be real ¬¬

Aparently, according to my Estate agents...I'm getting a boiler tomorrow!! After a month and 4 days of waiting for some heating ¬¬.

What are the chances that it will happen tomorrow?

None.

That's what chance. The contractors are useless, like for example.

Why would anyone, in their right mind, send a PLUMBER round to look in a cupboard space where the boiler once was?

Yes, you read right. A Plumber. Someone who fixes toilets and radiators. Was coming to see about fitting my boiler. A GAS thing, not water. Not leaking pipes. GAS BOILER.


Bloody prats. I swear to god, if nothing happens tomorrow, I am actually going to blow my top. Or do what I do in Gears of war, Blow the heads off the Lambent with a sniper.

I don't own a sniper.
Don't panic.
....But I could make one out of cardboard....
O_O
I might just do that.

It'll give me something to do at least!


I've also heard rumors that the Coca Cola Christmas adverts has slowly started to appear on the telly....
IT'S NOVEMBER!!! ARRRRGGGGHHHH!

November is that depressing month where it is no longer Halloween and it isn't Christmas yet.
That limbo month.
That everyone hates.
Including me. 

Why do I seem to hate everything :/! It isn't good for my soul. Maybe I'll end up in Hell...at least it'll be warm!


But anyway.


Back to November.


I have Christmas sorted... Well, kind of, everything is sitting in the online baskets waiting for me to take them through the checkout. I'll just wait on money first :).


But adverts, in November, it just doesn't feel right, I pity parents really. The kids see Santa on the telly, or christmas songs, or the very word 'Christmas' and they automatically scream..


'MUMMY MUMMY WHEN'S SANTA COMING? WHEN'S SANTA COMING?!'


D'yano what my answer would be?
.....
......


'Never kids. He's never coming. Cause he doesn't exist. Now go play with your Lego and Nintendo and keep quiet. Mummy has to do stuff.'


The kids faces would be priceless.


You're likely (not)  asking what stuff I would be doing.


That answer is, nothing. I would be sat in a reclining massage chair, while the kids buggered off somewhere :D.


I would be a terrible mum.. :/.


I need a driver for my scanner.


That was random. Woops.


And I'm now going to go away, and make my dinner.


Fish, or beef burger or something that has some sort of taste that I can throw sauce on.


Untill next time :)
Bye :)




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Is growing ever more impatient. HOWEVER there is a light...

Here are a few facts that are seriously twisting my buttons.

1 - I have no heating. And have gone 1 ENTIRE MONTH living in a flat that is (no joke) -2 degrees celcius.

2 - My landlord isn't pushing someone to come and fit me a boiler. I pay rent for a reason. And this is one of those reasons.

3 - I am hungry and have a sore back, can't be assed to cook and am too sore to move anywhere...


This is my verdict on these facts so far...


I HATE MY LANDLORD
HE IS A PRICK
I NEED SOME HEATING NOOOOOW!!

Or I will subsiquently die of an asthma attack, because it is so cold, and I'm asthmatic ¬¬.

I can even see my breath for gods sake, is that even normal?!
And I have mould...AGAIN all over the place, and I can't get rid of it. Cause i just grows back.

Anyone want to give me £1500 to move away from here?

It's not even like the estate agents are that bothered... They should be, as they put it 'They ask on behalf of the landlord...we are the middle man' well screw you middle man, I want to talk to the prick who enjoys having me cold.
And leaves me for 4 months, without a shower.
Aaand allows me to move in with a mouldy carpet.
Aaaand a broken toilet.
And a crack in the bath.


I swear the list could go on.




BUT I HAVE CHRISTMAS SORTED!!

....even though I hate it. Really, Really hate it.

I'm such a bah humbug person...however. I have the following people sorted...
My Mum
Sister
Brother (For Christmas && Birthday as his birthday is on the 27th..)
Step-dad


And Nikki..My lovely, lovely partner Nikki :)
She's awesome :)
She's beautiful too :), very much so!
And she's my Squirelly friend :)...


That's a weird story actually.
But that's for another day XD.


I want to do some serious painting...but I really can't be bothered lol! Anyone else ever get that feeling? Where you have this ACE image in your head and you're like 'Oh my God DUDE I want to paint this!' then when you look at the blank canvas/paper you think 'Naaah, stuff it, I'm eating a pizza instead'.....


I'm going to have a pizza for tea. I have just descided :).


Yawn.


I swear, I'm shaking so much I might aswell be put in Ann Summers and displayed as a vibrator....


I wonder what I could be called....


Sizzeling Sarah Vibe... Naah, that just sounds like a new burger at Burger Kind..mmmm...burger king...Oh I Don't know!


OH Did anyone else watch that show last night on Channel 4 'My Tanssexual Summer'? Should have been Transgender but I'll let them get away with that. Bloody good show though!


And it got me thinking...


If I ever became a transgender guy...what would I call myself?


And I'm still thinking lol. Can't deside, too many cool ones, and too many, well, pansy ones lol.


Right. I think my rant is finished :)
If I get a boiler, and get some heating. I will celebrate..on here :/ lol!


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Bye Bye :)

I have strangely allowed public holiday fun get in the way of business...Oh dear.

I have actually managed to ramble in the title... Something is wrong with me I swear, this HAS to be a syndrome of some kind :/.


But back to actual business plans and business involved stuff...(I can hear booing going on Lol)


I FINALLY got my Business Plan completed and finalised!......On Wednesday night right enough but that isn't the point! I'm incredibly glad that I have the Princes Trust supporting me along the way, it's a lovely thing to know that when you need something answered or help with anything that there's someone there.

Speaking of the Princes Trust.

I went on their 'Exploring Enterprise Programme' last month. And it was actually amazing. Any young person (Between 18 and 30 yeard old and in the UK) who wants to start a business, then I swear, I really do recommend their services. I haven't been paid to say that either, but the programme is really good, indepth and informative. Before I went I thought I had everything done, I had a business plan written (from the template given by Business Link..) and my Logo, Name, Advertisement stuff already done, I felt ready...and when I got there I realised just how little I had done. And now my plan is complete and the Trust have it, they're reading through it and all seems to be going well. I feel amazing.

And while I'm typing this, I have the X Factor results show in the backround.... I don't even like it :/! Oh and I'm making my dinner...Chicken and chips...with Mayonaise. Yum Yum :).



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I'll be writing again soon I'm sure :)
Bye Bye! :)

Happy Guy Falkes Night!

Well the title has just said it anyway, Happy Guy Falkes!

As much as I enjoy looking at fireworks...I wish they didn't sound quite so much like guns :/.

I mean, they are bloody lovely (And when I find out where the next fireworks display is I'm sooo going down to get photos..) to look at and to have photos of, but seriously do they have to shout?

It's almost like...

'OI! I KNOW YOU'RE LOOKING UP AT THE SKY, BUT LOOK AT ME! LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL I AM! Oh wait I'm falling now...nooooooo!' like, yes, we know you look wonderful but can you be quiet please? Can't have cake and eat it I suppose... Although I DO have a chocolate fudge cake in the freezer.... I'll have it after my stew :).

Why do I ramble so much? Honestly it's just weird.
Anyway.


I would ask what anyone is doing this evening...but I have come to realise I have no followers or whatever it is people do on here..


So what's everyone doing tonight?


I'm sitting in eating lots of weird and strange food while being on Facebook, Twitter, watching Katy Perry videos on Youtube (Inc. the trailer for The One That Got Away..what a tune!) and being scared half to death by the noice of the Fireworks...That I can't even see, what the hell?


I know this it totally illrelevant, but oh my god HOW DAMN TASTEY IS HEINZ BIG SOUP BEEF STEW AND SUMPLINGS MICROWAVE POT THING????? O_O. I love my dinner <3


Now that I've finished that.. I will carry on.


What was I talking about again?
Fireworks? Oh yes, okay then back to that.


I recon if we could be given sound proof headwear, or standing in a sound proof glass enclosure then fireworks would be much more enjoyable :).


Oh Lord. I just said enclosure.
That brings the assumption of us being kept in Zoo's...shit. I'm sorry O_O.


Right then. Before I humiliate myself any further I will stop now.


I hope you all enjoy Guy Falkes night and I will be writting again soon :)


Goodbye folks :)